If Yoda is so wise, why is his English so bad?

Why does anyone on Star Trek ever die?  The transporters seem to remember their pattern, which should let people make easy copies or, at a minimum, make back ups.

If they can go out in the sunlight, why are they called “vampires” in the Twilight books?  If I put on some glitter can I call myself a vampire?

If the Terminator hadn’t gone back in time to kill Sarah Conner, how would John Conner have been conceived?  The Terminator wouldn’t have been sent if John Conner hadn’t have been conceived.

Remember those eagles at the end of Lord of the Rings?  Why couldn’t they fly everyone to Mordor from Rivendell in the first place?  Would have saved us about nine hours.

Why doesn’t Professor Dumbledore use that Time Turner thing to fix problems a lot more regularly, as in Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure?

On the Six Million Dollar Man, why didn’t the bionic arm get pulled off Lee Major’s body every time he tried to lift a car?  His arm was strong, and his legs too, but not the rest of the body.

On the new Battlestar Galactica, why is it so hard to tell the difference between a human and a cylon?  The cylons are killed by some radiation humans find harmless, for instance (I know what weapon I’d invent), and are stronger than humans, too, but apparently advanced technology can’t easily tell the difference.

Where does the extra mass come from when Bruce Banner Hulks out?

Why does The Sword of Shannara remind me of Lord of the Rings minus the poetry?

If there really could only be one, as established in Highlander, what idiot greenlit sequels?  And can we take his head already?

In the Core and Sunshine, why are manned vehicles required to deliver their payloads?  Other than “because it’s more exciting,” that is.

What do Luke Skywalker and Starbuck and Apollo do about going to the bathroom on long flights?

Why does Kirk enjoy sex with aliens of all types, but won’t consummate his own true love with Spock?  Why do so many women say they find Spock sexier than Kirk?

Why can’t people tell the difference between Superman and Clark Kent?  Does suspension of disbelief really go that far?

Stupid things I think about sometimes…got more?

Originally published at Mike Brotherton: SF Writer. You can comment here or there.

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